We’ve all met that perfect person. They understood us, put up with us, helped us, and loved us. When we were sick, they were there. They were everywhere we needed them to be. They knew what made us smile and they knew what ticked us off. They noticed the little things and turned small moments into meaningful memories. They would have gone to the moon and back for us while we were barely willing to stop and get them chocolates every once in a while. This person would have been the most amazing life partner. But we just weren’t ready. We were too young and scared of this person because it required a version of us that we knew we couldn’t be yet. A version of us that required accountability, fidelity, and dedication. This was the perfect person. But it just wasn’t the right time.
So you probably broke this person’s heart and easily moved on while they embarked on the hardest and darkest moments of that year. Then they probably moved on, got married, and had kids. And now you’re older and you start missing that person because now you’re ready for that caliber of a person. Seeing them happy burns but it just wasn’t the right time.
Like Usher said, "You gotta let it burn."
So you say to yourself, “the next time I fall in love I want her to be just like that.”
But life just isn’t that simple. We end up falling for the opposite. The one who doesn’t understand us. The person whose love language is the opposite of yours and won’t take the time to learn you, to study you, to love you. This person won’t water your love, won’t feed your soul and won’t fill in the voids in your heart. But we fall anyways. We become attached and almost addicted. But why? Because this is the wrong person at the right time.
Perhaps we had overcome a defining life event. Perhaps we faced adversity, loneliness, or divorce, or heartbreak. So this person dropped in after we learned a life lesson. After we made it over the hump towards maturity. When we needed color in a page of our lives that was dull and sad. We’ve gotten older and have lost that young sparkling confidence and this person may just stroke our ego enough to keep us around. But this person doesn’t notice the little things. In fact, they forget the important details and don’t notice when something is off. This person doesn’t love us like that perfect person we once had. But they like us and we like that they like us because it feels like the world doesn’t sometimes. This person becomes our coping mechanism. Our oxygen. We know they don’t love us but we can’t let go. This is the wrong person at the right time.
Have you ever experienced any of these?
According to divorce statistics, only 50 percent of us will find the right person at the right time. This stuff is complex. Love is hard. Love is probably one of the scariest but somehow the most beautiful thing in this world. And I truly believe that we’ll never find that right person while we’re looking. Life will just bring us together by chance. When you least expect it.