I got married for the first time in less than 30 minutes. No guests, no vows, no pastor/priest. One of the court employees had to hold our son while we were signing the paperwork. That’s just what my first marriage was; paperwork.
My priority was to be a present father which also meant formalizing the relationship with his mom even if that relationship was broken from day 1. I was determined to be the best father in the world but I was never determined to be a good husband. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time but I was only creating a storm that would later rain down.
I'm grateful that my son’s mom filed for divorce. It’s the best thing to ever happen to us. My love for my son is so strong that I was willing to stay with a person for 18 years just to be by his side. I wasn’t capable of walking away no matter how necessary I knew it was. I’m thankful that she had the courage to walk away because she gave us both the opportunity to find the person that God created for us.
A few people asked me if I was nervous prior to proposing this time. I wasn’t. I was excited. I couldn’t wait to tell her that I want her to be the co author of my life and that I’d like to be hers. I couldn’t wait to feel her first embrace as my soon-to-be wife.
On paper, this is my second marriage. But in my heart this is my first. And under God, this will be my first and only.
I don’t regret my first one because God judges us by our hearts and intentions. My heart was in the right place. My intention was to give my son a household but my mind wasn’t ready to handle conflicting values; fatherhood vs marriage. Ideally, both are found in the same household. But in this case, as in many cases in society, they weren’t.
The key to my success in life is my ability to learn from failure more than I learn from success. My first marriage taught me to value my own happiness and well-being. I learned to think a whole lot more before acting. I learned to decipher love from lust. I learned that marriage is not to be based off feelings or emotions only. It’s a life-long union in which we both must be compatible.
Marriage is a sacred union in which two hearts come together closer than than the bodies ever could. Though we’re already whole and complete as individuals, we’re a stronger team together.
I thank God for creating her. And I thank my wife for understanding and loving me. May this relationship continue to be blessed.